Friday, November 12, 2010


In the name of Allah,

Ohana means family, and family means no one being left out... So, that doesn't mean the one that have the same heredity is our one-and-only family, deshou??? Those one that can't be left out is our family.

Family is the one that accept us as who we are. Our weakness, madness, guilty, tears and happiness we shared with family. And sometimes, when we see someone doing wrong things, as a family, automatically we want them to know that 'this is wrong, you can't do it'.. Those who ignore what their family is doing, there must be something wrong with them.

For me, along 'this' way, i learned to luv my 'family' not because they have the same blood with me or because i grew up with them or they are the one that showed me this world... If i thanked them for those reasons, then there is no different between me and Kapoor family or a Wong family...Family means much more than that.

To my family, now i've been learning to do everything becoz of Allah. I try to do things for the sake of you. Even sometimes you'll see it otherwise, that is my weakness in showing it. I grew up in a situation that thought me to be strong by myself, n that makes me think,'if i can do it, why can't you?'

Gomen ne that sometimes i expect that being in this way, u can do much better than wat you've been doing right now... Gomen ne that sometimes i think that 'other' people can do things that you have to be told to do it... Gomen ne for my high expectation to you...


Just yesterday,i got the answer... With you, i have to be more patient... with you, i have to be more hilm (calm), with you, i have to be much more rafiq...

"Sesungguhnya Allah maha lembut (rafiq) dan menyukai kelembutan dalam segala urusan"

I admit that since KKD i'm 'far' from you,n seeing you 'faraway from Him' is making me feel sad but now, i'll find a way to change it, even meeting you once in a week..N even you don't wanna meet me??? i wanna be someone to you...


N welcome to this life, my new cute-little-niece, noor deanna sofea... reaaally wanna meet you!!!!

Till then, ja ne~


Wednesday, October 27, 2010

2 you...

In the name of Allah,

to you

that i've known years ago

that i shared my laugh together
demo sa, ima doko?

to you
that ima, i dun know how are you
even YOU are here

try to find a way to talk to you

dakedo, ima wa, hen da yo ne?

really want to be like those times
i am with you

no worries

no boundries

so close yet so far away...

those days when i was with you



to you
gomen ne..
for everything that i did to you

gomen ne..
for being like that to you
really, i didn't meant them

really want to be like the first time
i knew you
coz there, i would not hurt you hard


really want to befriends with you
because of HIM
gomen ne
hontouni gomenasai you...
You know who you are...


Friday, October 15, 2010

sekelip mata...


'Allah bertanya: "Berapa tahunkah lamanya kamu tinggal di bumi?" Mereka menjawab: "Kami tinggal (di bumi) sehari atau setengah hari, maka tanyakanlah kepada orang-orang yang menghitung. Allah berfirman: "Kamu tidak tinggal (di bumi) melainkan sebentar saja, kalau kamu sesungguhnya mengetahui'
(23: 112-114)

“ Dua kenikmatan yang banyak dilalaikan umatku yaitu kesehatan dan kesempatan “
hadis riwayat Bukhari, Tirmidzi dan Ibnu Majah

Kenapa kita diberi waktu tua?
supaya kita merasai nikmat muda

Kenapa kita merasa akn kemiskinan?
supaya kita beringat di kala berbelanja

Kenapa kita diberi rasa sakit?
supaya kita tahu nikmat sihat

Kenapa kita diberi rasa lapang itu?
supaya kita menggunakannya sebelum sempit...

kenapa kita diberi 'hidup' ini???
adakah utk merasai sakitnya mati??

For me,it's not the answer...
Maybe it's becoz we are the chosen one to be the khalif n abid in this world...

So,mybe the answer is
Kita diberi dunia...hidup ini...untuk membina akhirat kita...

Segalanya yg Dia beri adalah kesempatan utk kita membina akhirat kita smpai saat yg ditentukan..

Muda...tua...kaya...miskin..sihat dan sakit,lapang dan miskin...semuanya adalah kesempatan...
Ada orang yg x sempat menjadi tua...
Ada orang yg x sempat kaya walau bertahun terus mencari 'kaya' itu
Ada orang yg akn terus terusan sakit...

Gunalah kesempatan yg kita ada segalanya untuk membina akhirat kita, utk mendekatkan diri padaNya...Jgn sampai satu ketika Allah tidak mahu berbicara pun dgn kita disana nnt...Kecewa dgn hamba yg jauh dariNya walau segala nikmat diberi..Sesungguhnyya Dialah yg Maha Mengetahui, Maha pengasih dan penyayang

'...Boleh jadi kamu membenci sesuatu, padahal ia amat baik bagimu, dan boleh jadi (pula) kamu menyukai sesuatu, padahal ia amat buruk bagimu; Allah mengetahui, sedang kamu tidak mengetahui'

Dakara, akirametakunai...Ya Allah,kuatkanlah aku....

-Al-Fatihah buat yg telah pergi-


Monday, October 4, 2010

Habis suda...


It's quite a long time for me to find a way to write here...Happy Eid Mubarak to all...Alhamdulillah that i finished my Syawal Fasting...i've started my KKD (skill lab) n just past Radiology...Alhamdulillah..Now i'm gonna miss Dr. Kris n others n the place..Happened to luv that place so much^^...i took the repeat..Not much to say about it but sure, radiology is Best coz i luv to read x-ray..hee...

celebrated Syawal at home is so much luv..this year got a big duet raye..huhu...Going bac n then to relatives house n sadly missed things at Msia...I got a yummy Msia burger at my bro's home...he want to take my to McD but..'McD kt Indo pon leh cariklaaa'.....hee...Then i ate tau fu fa (since i can't make it here).. Oishii!!! Called abang n others..really miss them..wanna see them...Thinking that they're getting bigger, i can't accept it... mybe that is what my mom felt that we still a kid that everything must happened according to her..for raising us up, hontouni arigatou,ka-chan...

next month,my sis-in-law will deliver n in Jan,my sis will deliver..I'm so xcited to see n welcome my new babies.. i even dreamt of them^^ Hope that they will raise up in Islam...Amin...

Is so difficult..
Can't smile thinking of it...
Can't even do things to change it..
N it's not in man's hand...
n maybe going nuts is not impossible...

what make us different is the BELIEVE...
Can't find the solution as it is not us that hold others...
N it's not our right to do it in the first place...

How tough we will walk this jinsei?
How strong us to believe in Him?
How are we gonna to face them?

Can't find a way..
Won't somebody found it?
Michi de aruite...
It's not in my hand

Some thing to do..Dakara, fullstop here..



Wednesday, September 1, 2010

The look...

In the name of Allah,

Yesterday, i had my SOCA exam...N alhamdullilah,praise to Him as he give me the best time, the best day, and what is the best thing was he gave me the 'peace'... something that i can't find in my Soca book or from my friends...anyone but Him...alhamdulillah coz He gave me my easiest way...

Sincerely, i dun't know what i feel when i've been said that 'you're pass'...I'm not overjoyed my result but it's more to relieve...At that time i think, am i not grateful enough passing my test despite others that got to repeat it for the second time? Having the same hardness or maybe twice?? And seriously this effect me...

"Manusia tidak jemu memohon kebaikan, dan jika mereka ditimpa malapetaka dia menjadi putus asa lagi putus harapan. Dan jika Kami merasakan kepadanya sesuatu rahmat dari Kami sesudah dia ditimpa kesusahan, pastilah dia berkata: "Ini adalah hakku,...."


To my friend out there, being failed in Soca is not the end... U'll still alive right?? i know it's harsh to say that,but that's the truth... A champion is someone who gets up even when they can't..u'll still got time to repent the mistake...

Donna toki demo hora egao de ireba
Angai umaku iku ashita wa ii otenki

Do not give up
No matter how tough it is, if you smile
Unexpectedly good things come, and tomorrow will be fine.


The look...

Actually i've thinking this for the past few weeks... What r we looking for,searching for??? N according things that happened to me these past few weeks, we are looking for 'the look'... Maybe not many notice this, along this life we will be facing with so many 'looks'. what is 'the look'??? the better word is the perception...we will always trying to give people a good perception towards us... weather it's family, relatives, friends, lecturer and people that come across us even we didn't know them...

being a child, we always try the best for our family
being a relative, we will always try to give the best for our family's sake
being a friend, we surely have the tendency to be the best for them, in joy and sorrow
being a student, we will stayed up studying for our Soca so that there's no lacking here and there in our exam
being a doctor, a neighbor, and so on...
we will always look for 'the look'....

but, sometimes we forget the 'pandangan itu selalu menipu'... we can see them outside but not in the inside....then, we made assumtion based on what we've got...isn't we are too cruel judging only from the outside...yes, we are cruel...

N being a friend,am i not reliable enough or be trust enough?? N if u think the truth will affect me, guess u hv to learn to know me better...

That's why Islam teach us to husnu-zhon,tabayyun, berlapang dada and so on...N i admit, it is easy to say...To build the matinul-khuluq (akhlaq yg mantap) is not easy, but it's not impossible coz we have Rasulullah^^... This ramadhan where there's no satans around us, try to build these in ourselves... Life is once, use it wisely...

One look that we forget is, the Allah's look...We muslims know that he watch us 24/7 but practically we didn't try our best to gave him the best perception towards us... Can u imagine having Soca 24/7??? N u still do nothing...What will be the result???

'Dijadikan indah pada pandangan manusia kecintaan kepada apa-apa yang diingini, yaitu: wanita-wanita, anak-anak, harta yang banyak dari jenis emas, perak, kuda pilihan, binatang-binatang ternak dan sawah ladang. Itulah kesenangan hidup di dunia, dan di sisi Allah-lah tempat kembali yang baik (surga)'

Once we target His 'look', insyaAllah we will pass the others' 'look'... These also is the reminder for myself...because i'm a human....

N today, i guess if there's the most late person on this world that know a news, that will be me... Today, i knew that my sis is pregnant but the shocking thing is the baby is 5months already in her tummy... speechless..akira shock!!!
She thought that my mom already told me n my mom thought vice versa... Is Indonesia to0 far from u??hee....wanna find that preggy mama's blouse later^^

Seriously,i can't believe this....this is soooo fast for me... seeing her for years w/out any male friends, then in 6months know him(that abg ipar), getting married and the next 3 months is already is sooooo fast.... Semoga Allah sentiasa merahmati kaklong^^ do pick my name for ur baby...(or named her camilia..heee....)

2 days to fly bac to M'sia... Anyway, happy eid mubarak to all...^^


Friday, August 20, 2010

Bila diri ini disayangi


hari-hari ini
mengajar banyak benda
mungkin akan tersesat
atau menjauh

namun hari-hari ini pasti akan berlalu pergi

kalau begitu biar saja
rasa marah, sedih dan kecewa berlalu
tanpa diri berusaha
mencari jalan untuk mengatasi...

tanya hati
apakah diam atau menjauh adalah solusi
untuk hari-hari yang pasti berlalu pergi ini?

jika engkau tinggal seorang
jika engkau tinggal bersama namun tidak 'bersama'
jika tiada lagi rasa 'bersama' itu

sebab jika engkau menyayangi
pasti berdiam diri bukan menjadi solusi
pasti berjauh hati bukan perisai diri
pasti engkau tidak begini...

engkau mungkin menyalahkan
apa saja yang bisa disalahkan
kenapa saja tidak kepada suratan yang tertulis?

engkau mungkin saja berkata telah aku lakukan segalanya
tapi mungkin saja tidak...
mungkin saja tidak
seperti yang ENGKAU harapkan?

engkau...aku...pasti diuji
itu JANJI yang pasti
dan hari-hari ini pasti berlalu pergi

jangan tewas dengan ujian Hati
takut esok hari
kita bukan di'sini' lagi

jangan kata diri menyayangi
jangan kata lagi diri menyayangi

Bila diri ini disayangi
pasti engkau tidak begini...

-nasihat utk diri-

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

This is the last time

in the name of Allah,

this is the last time
after three years
for the first time
that just like yesterday

this is the last time
as the time wouldn't turned back
for the first time
that was actually so far away

some might happy
or grateful
as the three years goes by

but atashi wa
these three years
i've learned so many things

sabishi kute...
kanashimi kute...
shiawase kute...
ureshii kute...
tanoshi kute...

wasurenai de...

dakara, sanshuu ni arigatou...