Daisuki

In the name of Allah,

Ohana means family, and family means no one being left out... So, that doesn't mean the one that have the same heredity is our one-and-only family, deshou??? Those one that can't be left out is our family.

Family is the one that accept us as who we are. Our weakness, madness, guilty, tears and happiness we shared with family. And sometimes, when we see someone doing wrong things, as a family, automatically we want them to know that 'this is wrong, you can't do it'.. Those who ignore what their family is doing, there must be something wrong with them.

For me, along 'this' way, i learned to luv my 'family' not because they have the same blood with me or because i grew up with them or they are the one that showed me this world... If i thanked them for those reasons, then there is no different between me and Kapoor family or a Wong family...Family means much more than that.

To my family, now i've been learning to do everything becoz of Allah. I try to do things for the sake of you. Even sometimes you'll see it otherwise, that is my weakness in showing it. I grew up in a situation that thought me to be strong by myself, n that makes me think,'if i can do it, why can't you?'

Gomen ne that sometimes i expect that being in this way, u can do much better than wat you've been doing right now... Gomen ne that sometimes i think that 'other' people can do things that you have to be told to do it... Gomen ne for my high expectation to you...

....

Just yesterday,i got the answer... With you, i have to be more patient... with you, i have to be more hilm (calm), with you, i have to be much more rafiq...

"Sesungguhnya Allah maha lembut (rafiq) dan menyukai kelembutan dalam segala urusan"

I admit that since KKD i'm 'far' from you,n seeing you 'faraway from Him' is making me feel sad but now, i'll find a way to change it, even meeting you once in a week..N even you don't wanna meet me??? i wanna be someone to you...

....

N welcome to this life, my new cute-little-niece, noor deanna sofea... reaaally wanna meet you!!!!


Till then, ja ne~

02122010-0920

2 you...

In the name of Allah,

to you
that i've known years ago
that i shared my laugh together
demo sa, ima doko?

to you
that ima, i dun know how are you
even YOU are here

try to find a way to talk to you
dakedo, ima wa, hen da yo ne?

i...
really want to be like those times
when i am with you

no worries
no boundries

so close yet so far away...

those days when i was with you
matteru...


...

to you
gomen ne..
for everything that i did to you

gomen ne..
for being like that to you
really, i didn't meant them

i..
really want to be like the first time
i knew you
coz there, i would not hurt you hard


...

i
really want to befriends with you
because of HIM
dakara..
gomen ne
hontouni gomenasai



...to you...
You know who you are...


-0003:07112010-

sekelip mata...

Bismillah...

'Allah bertanya: "Berapa tahunkah lamanya kamu tinggal di bumi?" Mereka menjawab: "Kami tinggal (di bumi) sehari atau setengah hari, maka tanyakanlah kepada orang-orang yang menghitung. Allah berfirman: "Kamu tidak tinggal (di bumi) melainkan sebentar saja, kalau kamu sesungguhnya mengetahui'

(23: 112-114)

“ Dua kenikmatan yang banyak dilalaikan umatku yaitu kesehatan dan kesempatan “
hadis riwayat Bukhari, Tirmidzi dan Ibnu Majah

Kenapa kita diberi waktu tua?
supaya kita merasai nikmat muda

Kenapa kita merasa akn kemiskinan?
supaya kita beringat di kala berbelanja

Kenapa kita diberi rasa sakit?
supaya kita tahu nikmat sihat

Kenapa kita diberi rasa lapang itu?
supaya kita menggunakannya sebelum sempit...

Tetapi,
kenapa kita diberi 'hidup' ini???
adakah utk merasai sakitnya mati??


For me,it's not the answer...
Maybe it's becoz we are the chosen one to be the khalif n abid in this world...

So,mybe the answer is
Kita diberi dunia...hidup ini...untuk membina akhirat kita...

Segalanya yg Dia beri adalah kesempatan utk kita membina akhirat kita smpai saat yg ditentukan..

Muda...tua...kaya...miskin..sihat dan sakit,lapang dan miskin...semuanya adalah kesempatan...
Ada orang yg x sempat menjadi tua...
Ada orang yg x sempat kaya walau bertahun terus mencari 'kaya' itu
Ada orang yg akn terus terusan sakit...


Gunalah kesempatan yg kita ada segalanya untuk membina akhirat kita, utk mendekatkan diri padaNya...Jgn sampai satu ketika Allah tidak mahu berbicara pun dgn kita disana nnt...Kecewa dgn hamba yg jauh dariNya walau segala nikmat diberi..Sesungguhnyya Dialah yg Maha Mengetahui, Maha pengasih dan penyayang

'...Boleh jadi kamu membenci sesuatu, padahal ia amat baik bagimu, dan boleh jadi (pula) kamu menyukai sesuatu, padahal ia amat buruk bagimu; Allah mengetahui, sedang kamu tidak mengetahui'
(2:216)

Dakara, akirametakunai...Ya Allah,kuatkanlah aku....


-Al-Fatihah buat yg telah pergi-

0707-16102010

Habis suda...

Assalamualaikum....

It's quite a long time for me to find a way to write here...Happy Eid Mubarak to all...Alhamdulillah that i finished my Syawal Fasting...i've started my KKD (skill lab) n just past Radiology...Alhamdulillah..Now i'm gonna miss Dr. Kris n others n the place..Happened to luv that place so much^^...i took the repeat..Not much to say about it but sure, radiology is Best coz i luv to read x-ray..hee...

celebrated Syawal at home is so much luv..this year got a big duet raye..huhu...Going bac n then to relatives house n sadly missed things at Msia...I got a yummy Msia burger at my bro's home...he want to take my to McD but..'McD kt Indo pon leh cariklaaa'.....hee...Then i ate tau fu fa (since i can't make it here).. Oishii!!! Called abang n others..really miss them..wanna see them...Thinking that they're getting bigger, i can't accept it... mybe that is what my mom felt that we still a kid that everything must happened according to her..for raising us up, hontouni arigatou,ka-chan...

next month,my sis-in-law will deliver n in Jan,my sis will deliver..I'm so xcited to see n welcome my new babies.. i even dreamt of them^^ Hope that they will raise up in Islam...Amin...

Jinsei...
Is so difficult..
Can't smile thinking of it...
Can't even do things to change it..
N it's not in man's hand...
n maybe going nuts is not impossible...

But...
what make us different is the BELIEVE...
Can't find the solution as it is not us that hold others...
N it's not our right to do it in the first place...

Tears..sadness..
How tough we will walk this jinsei?
How strong us to believe in Him?
How are we gonna to face them?

Stuck..
Can't find a way..
Lost..
Won't somebody found it?
Hitori..
Michi de aruite...
.
.
.
.
.
.
Tasukete...Onegai..
It's not in my hand

Some thing to do..Dakara, fullstop here..

Salam...

-08102010-

The look...

In the name of Allah,

Yesterday, i had my SOCA exam...N alhamdullilah,praise to Him as he give me the best time, the best day, and what is the best thing was he gave me the 'peace'... something that i can't find in my Soca book or from my friends...anyone but Him...alhamdulillah coz He gave me my easiest way...

Sincerely, i dun't know what i feel when i've been said that 'you're pass'...I'm not overjoyed my result but it's more to relieve...At that time i think, am i not grateful enough passing my test despite others that got to repeat it for the second time? Having the same hardness or maybe twice?? And seriously this effect me...

"Manusia tidak jemu memohon kebaikan, dan jika mereka ditimpa malapetaka dia menjadi putus asa lagi putus harapan. Dan jika Kami merasakan kepadanya sesuatu rahmat dari Kami sesudah dia ditimpa kesusahan, pastilah dia berkata: "Ini adalah hakku,...."
(41:49-50)

Nau'zubillah...

To my friend out there, being failed in Soca is not the end... U'll still alive right?? i know it's harsh to say that,but that's the truth... A champion is someone who gets up even when they can't..u'll still got time to repent the mistake...

Akirametakunai
Donna toki demo hora egao de ireba
Angai umaku iku ashita wa ii otenki

Do not give up
No matter how tough it is, if you smile
Unexpectedly good things come, and tomorrow will be fine.

..................

The look...

Actually i've thinking this for the past few weeks... What r we looking for,searching for??? N according things that happened to me these past few weeks, we are looking for 'the look'... Maybe not many notice this, along this life we will be facing with so many 'looks'. what is 'the look'??? the better word is the perception...we will always trying to give people a good perception towards us... weather it's family, relatives, friends, lecturer and people that come across us even we didn't know them...

being a child, we always try the best for our family
being a relative, we will always try to give the best for our family's sake
being a friend, we surely have the tendency to be the best for them, in joy and sorrow
being a student, we will stayed up studying for our Soca so that there's no lacking here and there in our exam
being a doctor, a neighbor, and so on...
we will always look for 'the look'....

but, sometimes we forget the 'pandangan itu selalu menipu'... we can see them outside but not in the inside....then, we made assumtion based on what we've got...isn't we are too cruel judging only from the outside...yes, we are cruel...

N being a friend,am i not reliable enough or be trust enough?? N if u think the truth will affect me, guess u hv to learn to know me better...

That's why Islam teach us to husnu-zhon,tabayyun, berlapang dada and so on...N i admit, it is easy to say...To build the matinul-khuluq (akhlaq yg mantap) is not easy, but it's not impossible coz we have Rasulullah^^... This ramadhan where there's no satans around us, try to build these in ourselves... Life is once, use it wisely...

One look that we forget is, the Allah's look...We muslims know that he watch us 24/7 but practically we didn't try our best to gave him the best perception towards us... Can u imagine having Soca 24/7??? N u still do nothing...What will be the result???

'Dijadikan indah pada pandangan manusia kecintaan kepada apa-apa yang diingini, yaitu: wanita-wanita, anak-anak, harta yang banyak dari jenis emas, perak, kuda pilihan, binatang-binatang ternak dan sawah ladang. Itulah kesenangan hidup di dunia, dan di sisi Allah-lah tempat kembali yang baik (surga)'
(3:14)

Once we target His 'look', insyaAllah we will pass the others' 'look'... These also is the reminder for myself...because i'm a human....

N today, i guess if there's the most late person on this world that know a news, that will be me... Today, i knew that my sis is pregnant but the shocking thing is the baby is 5months already in her tummy... speechless..akira shock!!!
She thought that my mom already told me n my mom thought vice versa... Is Indonesia to0 far from u??hee....wanna find that preggy mama's blouse later^^

Seriously,i can't believe this....this is soooo fast for me... seeing her for years w/out any male friends, then in 6months know him(that abg ipar), getting married and the next 3 months is already pregnent...waaa....life is sooooo fast.... Semoga Allah sentiasa merahmati kaklong^^ do pick my name for ur baby...(or named her camilia..heee....)

2 days to fly bac to M'sia... Anyway, happy eid mubarak to all...^^

-02092010-23ramadhan1431H-

Bila diri ini disayangi

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...

hari-hari ini
mengajar banyak benda
mungkin akan tersesat
terjatuh
atau menjauh

namun hari-hari ini pasti akan berlalu pergi

kalau begitu biar saja
rasa marah, sedih dan kecewa berlalu
tanpa diri berusaha
mencari jalan untuk mengatasi...

tanya hati
apakah diam atau menjauh adalah solusi
untuk hari-hari yang pasti berlalu pergi ini?

boleh...
jika engkau tinggal seorang
boleh
jika engkau tinggal bersama namun tidak 'bersama'
boleh
jika tiada lagi rasa 'bersama' itu

sebab jika engkau menyayangi
pasti berdiam diri bukan menjadi solusi
pasti berjauh hati bukan perisai diri
pasti engkau tidak begini...

engkau mungkin menyalahkan
apa saja yang bisa disalahkan
kenapa saja tidak kepada suratan yang tertulis?

engkau mungkin saja berkata telah aku lakukan segalanya
tapi mungkin saja tidak...
dan
mungkin saja tidak
seperti yang ENGKAU harapkan?

engkau...aku...pasti diuji
itu JANJI yang pasti
dan hari-hari ini pasti berlalu pergi

jangan tewas dengan ujian Hati
takut esok hari
kita bukan di'sini' lagi

jangan kata diri menyayangi
jangan kata lagi diri menyayangi
kerana



Bila diri ini disayangi
pasti engkau tidak begini...

-nasihat utk diri-
0251-11ramadhan1431

This is the last time

in the name of Allah,

this is the last time
after three years
for the first time
that just like yesterday

this is the last time
as the time wouldn't turned back
for the first time
that was actually so far away

some might happy
or grateful
as the three years goes by

but atashi wa
these three years
i've learned so many things

sabishi kute...
kanashimi kute...
shiawase kute...
ureshii kute...
tanoshi kute...

wasurenai de...

dakara, sanshuu ni arigatou...

0131-28072010

Sakura

bismillahirrahmanirrahim...

i luv sakura...
among all flowers that i've known,after lavender...why??
me myself don't know...even i myself never hold or smell sakura nor lavender...
maybe it's becoz those can be found at Japan...
and nippon wa daisuki desu...

so,maybe i luv them becoz i like japan??




sometimes,when we luv something,we tend to luv all the things that remind us to 'it'
but, why...
when we trying to luv Allah,
we only luv Him when He gave us happiness or money or flying colours in exam or being a good and rich doctors???
why...
we only luv Him when He give us health or time or a good life nor a good fate???

and sadly
we accused Him for our sadness or sickness or our own failure and how suffered we're going through this life...

saa...it's look like that we're not luv Him 'that much' or maybe we didn't even try to luv Him??


Loving Allah is on every single day...there is no season to luv Him and next, a season to accuse Him...




It's not like a sakura that will flutter when the spring is gone...

matte matte, boku no sakura...

still,sakura wa suki^^



~sakura..my new template~
1113-16072010

NEW

bismillahirrahmaanirrahim...

i'm moving...
u're moving...
this world is moving...

i'm making a NEW move...
to do better..
to be better..
to make a better things...

just like a bee..

although we may walk slow
but never stop moving...

it's becoz, the sun never stop rising
and sea never stop waving
till that day...

it's becoz, the time is ticking..and...

my time is ticking..
backwards...
just like ur's..

dakara,never stop moving...

~sabar.....is never stop moving~

1117-15072010

Luv,give the best for me...

In the name of Allah,

just wanna share one short poem i took from someone blog..i dun know who is he/she but the poem is so meaningful.. Thank you to him/her for writing this beautiful poem..

Wahai KEKASIH….

Berikan daku ketenangan dalam kegelisahanku

Berikan daku kelembutan dalam kekerasanku

Berikan daku cahaya dalam kegelapan yang menyelimuti

Tuntunlah aku dalam genggaman-MU

Peluklah aku dalam kasih-MU

Biarlah seluruh dunia dan seluruh isinya meninggalkan aku

……..asal jangan ENGKAU yang pergi

Karena aku tahu…..

kino wa kyou,ashita he...

In the name of Allah,

just now, my jr just came by to give me a present^^ what a nice jr^^ arigatou ne...
just now, my sis called me congrats me being a year older...i can't meet her till this August..
just now, the sun shine bright in the sky, but guess rain will come after this...
live is so short..

'...mereka merasa seakan-akan hanya (sebentar saja) tinggal (di dunia) pada waktu petang atau pagi hari' (79:46)

i still remember,this is what i heard the first time i went to ta'lim in indonesia..on the nice Sunday morning, the ustaz said that the life on this world is extremely short than the afterlife.. that is absolutely true..yesterday, i was a 20years old human being on this planet..n today, i am the 21years old human being, still on this planet..

when i recalled bac,time flies soooo fast...this is the third year i celebrated bday in indonesia n mannnny things happened along this 3 years..these past few months, my mind, my heart n myself was not in a stable state...yesterday also,i feel so sad,dunno why..i keep thinking what have i done along this life? n will i still breathing the next day?? suddenly, i become so scared..maybe one of the ibrah people dunno when to die is so we keep struggling to live...Hmmm..guess time is also one of the 'ujian' that we should be aware..

It seems that my body also aware that i'm not in a stable state along these months..It keeps troubling me until a sis said, are u stress?? Body tends to show that we are in a stress mode.. Sincerely, i dunno if i'm stress or not... sometimes, i really dunno myself...till one time, i'll keep thinking till i can't think anymore...i dunno what's wrong with me..is this just a phase of life??searching for our own identity?? whatever it is, i dun't like what i feel these days...it seems that i've lost..Allah,please find me n put me bac on the right way...Onegai...

days before, my lecturer said that we, human can create human by the latest gene maping technology..then,i think how is it to be a human without a 'ruh'?? they will be emotionless, n didn't have a mission in this life..will they keep struggling to live like the normal n will they keep forcing themselves to the unknown tomorrow??once again,i'm asking for the unknowing answer..baaka da yo??

kino wa, i'm walking in my pace of life,
kyou wa, i still walking in my pace of life,
till then, i'll keep walking in my pace of life,
no matter how stress, hurt n sad i might be,
no matter how happy n grateful i would be,
it's just how it should be
everybody got their own story n their own pace
As HE make my story the bestest for me
so,who am i n where am i to keep judging n sighing??
kyou wa will be kino wa..
n ashita he will be the next kyou wa..
for sure,ashita he will be better than kyou ne...

'Dan kami akan menambah petunjuk kepada mereka yang telah mendapat petunjuk.Dan amal-amal saleh yang kekal itu lebih baik pahalanya di sisi Tuhanmu dan lebih baik kesudahannya'
(19:76)

To my parents,timekasey for all the hardship raising me up till today^^
To my siblings,xie xie for laughing n fighting with me^^
To all my sensei,merci for teaching me till now^^
To my tomodachis',arigatou..arigatou..i'll treasure every single of u^^
To all my enemies, ookini nee..
To my murabbis', komawoyo..for showing me n lead me finding the 'hikari' ^^
To my akhwats, gracies..hikari wo mezashite, issho ni ganbarimasu!!
To all people that came by n past by in my 21years chronology of life, hontouni arigatou...
Jazakillah khair to all the memories n soon-to-be memories^^
N for the first n last, syukran to ALLAH, now n always^^

Minna-san,thank you for making me 'me' today^^

1344-wed-10022010